Naturally, I see the negative first. I brace myself for the worst. “I’m just being realistic” I say, but in reality, I’m seeing the cup half empty.
I’m a pessimist.
Maybe you are too. Maybe you, like me, make plans while already thinking of a million ways they will probably get ruined. Maybe you, like me, set your goals too low because anything higher is “unachievable”. Maybe you, like me, are your own and others’ worst critic because all you see is the flaws.
This is a vicious cycle, and unrecognized, it ate away at me. But I’ve come to see it. I behold it face to face. And I hate it. I hate it with a passion.
Yet it’s so much a part of me. All this negativity. And my pessimism tells me I’ll be pessimistic forever. See what I mean? A vicious cycle.
But I am not one to give up. I am not one to faint. And recently I have consciously begun to change my thinking, bit by bit. And so when my brain says, “you will never accomplish that” I say “WHY NOT?!?!” And when my brain says, “that won’t happen, Murphey’s Law”, I say “WHY SHOULDN’T IT?!?!” And I’ve literally, little by little, been learning to fight the negative thoughts that I have and CHOOSE to see the other side, the good side, and you know what?
The grass really is greener on the other side.