My faith is in you.
I’ve said it so many times over the past couple months.
My faith is in you, God. Don’t let me be ashamed.
But it seems the more I trust the worse things get. Proportional to my faith is my trouble. I try to do right and everything goes wrong.
God you promised. “Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.” (Romans 10:11.) And yet here I am in misery while those who are not walking right are prospering. Their lives are free of struggle while I am broken.
But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped. For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm. They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men.
Ah how hard to follow these verses:
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.
For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.
For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.
But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.
How easily do my thoughts turn bitter at my painful lot. How quick I am to envy those whose lives are going well. How swift is my heart to scream for justice. How fast to question the Maker of all. How soon to count my trials.
But what else can I say? My faith is in God. It always has been, always will be.
Do not let me be ashamed.